On Religion

It's interesting to read your own views 3 years ago, simply because you read on where you used to stand, and how it modifies itself after time. With Religion, which will always be a touchy subject no matter where you're from, I've always remained as open-minded as possible. We will never know the Absolute Truth until the moment we die. The idea is how we live our daily lives. Some find their happiness in Christ and the Bible, some follow the teachings of Buddha, and some choose to find it their own self-ruled lives. I believe in Love, and every flowery happy thing about it. It's all you need. It makes the world go round. And it is a many-splendored thing. At the end of every day, it's what makes me happy.
It's just not always easy.

Livejournal Post dated Jan 18, 2004 but still very much applicable today.

I just came from the 8pm mass in Christ the King. Once again i am inside the great Church on a Sunday to fulfill my weekly obligation as a catholic.
Is it really worth going to mass if you don't listen, you don't even sit inside the church, and if you're not even sure you believe in God in the first place?

I amuse myself. I don't pray at night--actually I hardly pray at all... my faith is as stable as a pyramid of elephants balancing on a ball. (i just watched Dumbo onDisney!Ü) I amuse myself because I still make it a point to attend mass everySunday.

Today i went to mass with my parents, my mom's mom who's visiting from the states, and my sister. For once, we sat on the pews. we were late once again though. (I don't recall the last time we ever made it to mass on time.) On the way to mass, I kept thinking to myself : we live in Marikina, yet we always choose to go toChrist the King instead of the churches near the house. Why? Convenience? Not quite. Well there's the aircon, the english speaking priest, and more chances of seeing a familiar face. But then don't these all defeat the purpose of worship? Whatever happened to sacrifice? It's not like i can even understand the priest right? I wonder how far religion will reach as time passes.. as the years go by, more and more people lose meaning in religion because of all the new ideas and philosophies the modern world is bringing.

Anyway this Sunday i realized why I still choose to attend this monotonous supposed celebration. Its one place i can gather my thoughts and think. Every time I'm in mass, my mind wanders off to places light years away.. sort of like the thoughts you get before you sleep. Its during mass that i have time to reflect on the events that have happened to me lately, the peopleI've been with, and my current state. So yes, the church has in its own way become my sanctuary and source of reflection... its always healthy to reflect on yourself once in a while.

I cant say i believe in god. Does that make me so bad a person? When i pray, its always, "if You're really there, thanks for everything."

During our 4th year retreat in Baguio, Fr Ed talked about how life is all about relationships... that there are 3 relationships you have to take care of as you live: first there's God up above. the second is the people around you, and the third is your relationship with yourself. Your goal is to maintain these relationships. And so i realized how I naturally chose to live--I take good care of the two concrete relationships: others and myself. These are what are here now. And so i still uphold the same values the church teaches about love of neighbors and yourself. I guess the only difference is my unknown relationship with god. Does that make me evil? One can never know.

I wanna be a taoist. The inner peace thing makes so much more sense. You don't focus on a god but rather, people. Also, if millions of people all over the world believe in ideas like reincarnation and nirvana, what makes them so wrong? I just don't fully agree when people say Christianity is the only way to salvation. But i doubt I'm changing religion.. don't see much reason why id waste time doing so.

I think religion is man's answer for the questions meant not to be answered. I think man created religion to give a reason for living, to give him direction towards a certain goal he's not even sure exists. We all need one.

Supernatural:
No experiences whatsoever. I have no idea if ghosts exist. one thing i do know, if i encounter a ghostly experience that I'm sure was something unreal, my wandering faith will definitely find its destination.

Here's what i DO believe: there's a reason for everything. I don't know if there's someone out or UP there that controls the events in our lives but i know things happen for a reason. The challenge is finding out what that reason is :)


Sometimes I just wish I could die already so that all my questions would be answered. But of course, I'm happy. I don't think i'm a "lost soul". I hardly ever think about these things. there's no point in questioning all the time. I just let my life pass and make the most out of it while its still in the palm of my hand. So for those who keep searching for those answers, stop wasting your time. They will come to you eventually.

hehe.. i can be prophetic after all...

if someone can prove me wrong, by all means, please do.