Onward to 2010

Hello new year. Once again it's time to get things into perspective.. to once again look back at the past year, whether or not I accomplished what I set out to do.. and then plan for the year ahead.

So to recap my 2009 goals based on last year's recap:

• Keep your hair short -- CHECK
• Take care of your relationships: Love, family, friends -- CHECK?
• Make more friends -- CHECK
• Find a new sport/hobby -- Salsa! Badminton! Check!
• Get a tattoo -- Every year this is here.. every year unchecked.
• Stay fit -- run more -- Well, I lost weight if that's good news.
• Stick to no beef/pork diet - CHECK.. with the occasional must-try meals
• Save money -- BUDGET -- CHECK
• Find alternative ways to earn money -- CHECK
• LOCATIONS: Sagada, Vigan, Pagudpud, Lanuza, Samar, Siquijor -- DIDN'T GO TO ANY OF THE ABOVE

Okay, so at least I can say I got most goals checked. One technique to accomplishment is to keep your goals simple and realistic.  Helps me not feel like such a fat failure too.

SIGNIFICANT MOMENTS of 2009

1. Left Stoked (Aug)
2. A taste of the provincial life with one month in Siargao (Oct)
3. Made an enemy in the surf (July)
4. Smart Ad (paid for my unemployed months)
5. Tara, Alexis and Nika (Rest in peace) (Sept)
6. Trip to Singapore with Bri (June)
7. New laptop (July)
8. Trip to Bali with Abe (Feb)
9. Getting into salsa and dancing for the Manila International Salsa Festival (June - Nov)
10. Winning 4th at the MSA comp (Jan)
11. Typhoon Ondoy destroys Manila (Sept)

Not bad for 2009.. not much either. A year of tragedies and little achievements.

So reality check for 2010: I have a new job and not that much money.  What can I do this year?

• Do your absolute best with the new job (Try getting promoted within one year!)
• Trips already booked: KL-Vietnam-Bangkok in March, another month in Siargao in October
• Paris and other spots in Europe for 2 months? (July-Aug)
• Keep your eyes open for money-making opportunities, or ANY opportunities
• Invest in ASSETS (Thank you, Rich Dad)
• Stay healthy, stay fit
• Keep in touch with friends
• If you want to go do something, JUST DO IT.
• Keep smiling
• Get into more volunteer nonprofit work (at least one project!)

There you have it.. simple.. reasonable.. attainable. Good luck to me, and good luck to us all.

Unemployed

For some reason I haven't been inspired to write anything lately.. Maybe it's the interface of blogger.com, I don't know. But too many thoughts have crossed my restless mind lately, and I better get them out here before my head implodes.


So I've stopped going to work.. unless they call me in for a specific task, and until my replacement comes in. I've been staying at home, leaching off my parents' free food and lodging, like many other Filipino youth are doing. (In this country, it's very common to live with the folks until you get married. Although there are also thousands of married couples who STILL live with their folks. Whatever the case, we don't leave family. And hey, I'm not complaining.) As much as I want my old freedom back, where I could go home any time, and sometimes not at all, I'm living under their roof now, and I respect the unwritten rules, even when they don't strictly impose them. Who am I to complain.

My parents are happy I left my job. They never saw it as a real job anyway, which is partly true. Strangely enough, they're not pressuring me (at least not yet) to find a job right away, and I'm so thankful they understand my situation.

Quarter-life crisis, they call it. I'm at that point in my life where the road stops. There is no road to walk down, for I have to be the one to pave my way. I also have to create the different forks to choose from, and then walk down that path, thereby creating my first set of parallel universes. (A parallel universe is the other version of your life, where you chose the other options.)

I am creating my life here and now. Time to make something out of myself. And I have absolutely NO idea what my first step is supposed to be.

That's where I'm at right now, if you can even call that a destination.

Anxiety Attack

Before the month ends, I'll be unemployed.

No back-up source of income to depend on... no definite plan.

And as the day draws nearer, I admit I'm getting scared.

It's the feeling of uncertainty and lack of control that usually scares us. Usually, I welcome this. I love getting lost during trips, simply because I love finding my way back, and I love discovering the unexpected.

But it's a little different when you lose your way on the road of life (I APOLOGIZE FOR THE CLICHE). Maybe it's just the label of "doing nothing" that scares me. I don't know how long I will be "doing nothing".

I gotta lay down my time line. As random as I like to do things, I still need some sort of a schedule.. you always need a plan, one way or another. So here are the things I know I want to accomplish as soon as I leave this poor excuse for a job:

• Search for scholarships and/or attainable job opportunities abroad, given my limited qualifications
• Fix my room as soon as Marla moves out
• Contact the travel mag to tell them I'm free
  
• Pick a month to live in Siargao and try the rural life
  
• Meet up with people from different industries and explore options
• Go even easier on the spending. Cut the cab rides and the big meals over P150. Choose your trips.

I should be excited. This is what it really means to be LOST anyway right? I shall welcome the possibility of absolutely anything, and also nothing at all. I'll learn something from this.

Something big will happen. Soon.

Why Tourism?

So, what do you intend to do with your degree in Tourism Development?

A very intelligent and practical person asked me this question after learning of my intentions to study abroad. Naturally, I was stumped.

I don't know exactly what I want to do, but I do know that I want to contribute to this disintegrating nation's development thru the avenue of Tourism. I love telling people about the Philippines. I hate that the world thinks that we are a nation of household help, corrupt politicians and terrorists. I have traveled and lived in this country enough to know that it is more than just beautiful, that it has sites far more interesting than those of other Southeast Asian countries. I want the world to see that this country has more to offer than just good mangoes.

In turn, people will visit these places, specifically outside of Manila, and bring livelihood opportunities to the people. Filipinos will use their natural hospitability to develop simple resorts, restaurants, or simple lodging facilities to accomodate guests. They will show them their local delicacies, develop a taste for perfecting their local products to please guests. They will learn to perfect their artisan skills -- weaving, carving, painting -- to make things that are more useful than a mere souvenir. Tourists will bring money. Money will circulate in places outside of Manila. Rural Filipinos will have less reason to squeeze into the big dirty city just to join the rat race for minimum wage jobs. More importantly, the Filipinos will learn to be proud of what they have to offer. And that pride will develop into a deeper love for their country, which will make them not want to leave it just to offer their skills to make another country richer.

I always knew that if I were to do business, it would have to be export, so that I bring money into the economy instead of out. Tourism is just another way to do just that.

Traveling is what I love, and it is what has made me this friggin idealistic and optimistic about my own country. I just hope that by working in this field, I can let others see the same.

I don't see myself working as a hotel employee (unless under the development side) nor as a flight attendant (why take tourism if you're just gonna serve coffee?). Maybe I could manage a resort, or even start one... Maybe I can apply to the Department of Tourism, but then any sensible citizen knows that working for the government is NOT a smart idea... Maybe I could start a tour company.. starting with one area before the whole country... I don't know.

Working in this industry...... somehow.

To Quit or Not to Quit

So I've been seriously contemplating suicide over the last few weeks and... oh wait did I say suicide? I meant to say RESIGNING FROM MY JOB. Its funny how you can so easily interchange the two as they seem so alike to some.

Anyway, I've been seriously contemplating quitting already. Allow me to write down all the contemplation thoughts, for it might just lead to a decision. You never know.

The good news is that I know what I want my next step to be: To experience short-term living in another country, and to study a course that will equip me with the proper skills needed to really do what I want to do.

In other words, STUDY IN ANOTHER COUNTRY.

Don't get me wrong. Unlike some kids with the same goal, I have every intention of coming back home, to use everything I learned to better my own country somehow. I just feel I NEED to get out to a foreign land and live on my own -- to adjust to a new way of life, hundreds of miles away from my comfort zone that is the Philippines. I know so many people who've done it, and I can't help but be jealous.

In fact, I've decided the best means for me to live in another country is through study and not work, because it has more assurance that I return home after.

And so I've been using our crappy (but free, nonetheless) internet connection in the office for research on schools, courses and scholarship opportunities for the ff courses:

International Sustainable Tourism Development,
Natural Resource Management,
and similar courses thereafter.

It's quite difficult when you have these questions in mind:

1. Which country do you choose? I've been leaning towards Australia, but Hawaii or anywhere else wouldn't be bad either. Just anywhere but the US and the chinese countries really.
2. How in the world do you determine which school to apply to? Every school will claim to be the best if you look online.
3. How in the world am I going to pay for this? Scholarship hunting, here I come.

So first things first. These are things I can do as early as now.

1. Get your diploma and Transcript from Ateneo.
2. Apply for TOEFL or IELTS, pay $170, and pass the goddamn test with flying colors.
3. Keep on looking.

NOW, the question is, can or should I quit my job already?

YES, because 1, it's getting you nowhere, and will get you nowhere;
and 2, it's taking up time that you could use making these applications;

NO, because 1, it's your only constant source of income at the moment.

This is what's gonna happen if I stay with my job:

• I'll continue to go to work everyday from 6-9pm, feel like an idiot at the office, and get paid.
• I get my very first calling card. (Big whoop)

And if I quit,

• From "Wow, you work at Stoked? That's so cool!", to "You left Stoked!?! WHY?!?!!!!"
• I will have to look for other ways to earn while filing my applications, which won't even guarantee instant enrollment. I could be idle for a very long time. Alternate temporary options: commercial modeling, travel writing, teaching surfing
• No more free trip to Siargao
• No more free wakeboarding
  

If it's anything I'm thankful for, it's the people I've met, indirectly thanks to my job. I wouldn't have been exposed to the surfing, skating, and wakeboard world (although I know I'd still be doing these things). If I didn't work at Stoked, I would never have proposed to Abe that night of the Aloha opening. So many things I'm thankful for, so no regrets whatsoever.


... I need to talk to my mother and ask her what she thinks. Unfortunately, her opinion does, and always will matter. But she's always wanted me to quit this job and find other options abroad. I just wonder if she'll allow me to quit with nothing sure to fall back on.

...

This is why people pray for guidance.