I miss writing.

I miss writing.

I read people's blogs and I admire their ability to dig down deep and poetically express their emotions and ideas. Everyday I sit in front of this damn computer for work, and my time has been dominated by Excel sheets, catalogs, Facebook and Wordtwist. Absolutely no outlet to release the very little creative juice I have inside me, and as I write less, I feel the juice drying up to the point of dehydration.

Did that even make sense?

But I haven't stopped thinking. It has been the curse and driving force of my meager existence on this imperfect planet. I think about my current state, where I'm going, and if I'm happy. I think about the people around me, whether they're happy. I think about the stranger still, whether he still has the willpower and hope to be happy despite his unfortunate situation. I still question the role of the Higher Being i.e. God in my life. I wonder if I've fulfilled my life roles appropriately...

As an employee, I diligently go to work and constantly try to impress.. which is degrading, frustrating, and unmaximizing.

As a girlfriend, I try to remain a good person, to make it easiest for him to keep on loving me, as I do my best to love him the way he deserves.

As a daughter and a sister, I owe my family my time... and I hate that I do not have the will to make enough time for them. Maybe it comes with growing up. I know I'll probably regret it one day...

As a friend, I hope they don't take it against me that I spend less time with them.


My love language is definitely Quality Time. I show my love best by the time I give and spend with that particular person, activity, or pet :p Makes me wonder: if my the amount of my love is measured by the amount of time I give, then that makes it limited... because you only have so much time in a day to allot among yourself, your job, your relationships. Probably why I used to wonder if loving something more makes you love something else less. Or can you constantly grow your sphere of love?

Tis quite a complicated world I live in.. simply because I make it so.

Ok enough free flowing thought. Back to work.