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Hi love. Thanks for sending me this entry. It just goes to show that we are still in the stage where we communicate openly and honestly, and I hope that never ever changes. Anyway this is gonna be quite long but bear with me please. I’ve never shared this with anyone else.

I’ve always been one to question religion. I was never a big fan of it. I clearly remember one of the most interesting discussions in high school when one of my radical teachers introduced Nietzsche and his whole “God is dead” idea. After growing up surrounded by rosaries and Christian Living Education, it was shocking, somewhat disturbing, yet totally interesting to hear anti-religious ideas like that. And then we began studying other religions, which drew me to Buddhism and especially Taoism. The way I saw it was, if the majority of the world believes in other gods not named Jesus Christ, who are we to say Christ is the way, the Truth, and the Life? That was the start of my detachment from being a Roman Catholic.

Believe me when I say that we share mostly the same beliefs. We’re both skeptics, basing conclusions on facts that have been tested and proven. It’s why we love the Discovery Channel. It’s why we get along so perfectly well.

Why do we base ideas on facts? It’s just easier, it’s certain. It’s what is quantifiable, visible and just plain real. And being perfectly logical human beings, it’s only natural to rely on reason and logic… although your thoughts are explained way more methodically than mine.

However, unlike you, there came a point during my collegiate years in Ateneo (I make it sound as if that was so long ago.. hehe) where I came to peace with Religion and Christianity and Catholicism. And this is one of the things I appreciate most from going to ADMU, because I don’t know if this would’ve happened if I went to any other school, especially UP. I share this with you not to preach nor impose. It just explains where I come from and since we do think rather similarly, maybe it’ll help you find answers to questions you never even knew you had.

GOD DIDN’T CREATE MAN. MAN CREATED GOD.
The skeptic in me agrees with the statement. I believe man created religion to have answers to questions not meant to be answered. It was supposed to be a tool of hope, a tool that forms communities, uniting everyone to surrender to a higher being, because no man should think he is higher or more deserving than anyone else. The existence of the idea of God humbles us all under the same roof. And man definitely needs humility. Unfortunately, the Church is imperfect because man is imperfect. Its initial function was lost in the middle of evangelization and moneymaking. Religion in the most ideal world could do good. Whether or not it still works in today’s world, I don’t know anymore.

It is true that from a historical point of view, religion has divided the world more than united it. Most of the early wars were because of religious conflict, and the Catholic Church has one of the highest murder rates of all. (Do they beat the Holocaust though? I dunno) And I see how the Church has become one huge money-making operation and the so-called “opium for the masses”. For these reasons and more you really can’t blame people for not believing in organized religion. I know I was never a fan.

Then I opened myself to the fact that maybe there was more to it than that. I thought, before I reject Christianity altogether, I should at least study it, understand it, and make sense out of it, so I can fully KNOW it. It would be sad to reject something you don’t fully understand. So I explored the very roots of where this giant institution came from – logic, faith, wonder. This was during my Theology classes in college. It was probably my better sense of maturity that allowed me to study the topics as if they were fresh. I read the readings with the urge to make sense out of it. I thought to myself: Theologians and scholars are perfectly intelligent people, I have to understand what makes them think and believe what they do. I doubt their faiths were formed blindly. There had to be some mental process involved. The thing I appreciated most from Theology is not that it stressed that we believe in Jesus Christ and the Church—it was that we were recognized as beings blessed with reason and logic, and it is precisely that reason and logic that will lead the way to find God.

I already told you that I learned to appreciate the Catholic Church after learning about Liberation Theology. The reading by Jon Sobrino I wanted you to read can pretty much explain everything I understood to be true about Catholicism. I hope you do find time to read it.

Sure I finally made sense out of Catholicism. This blog entry will say so http://beachbum714.livejournal.com/70187.html. I found a logical reason to believe in a certain aspect of what the Church is there for. And we’ve talked about this several times before. It doesn’t mean that I’ve become a devout Catholic, but there’s a part of Christianity I’ve come to appreciate.

As for Christianity and the whole Born Again movement… I do get offended when you make fun of it. I may not agree with everything they believe and I don’t see myself making the commitment to their church, but like I said, I admire them for their conviction and their amount of faith. I personally know several of the pastors and the active people who run the organization, and I’ve come to know their overly friendly culture as well. They don’t deserve to be mocked, that’s all.

Who is Jesus to me?
I believe he is someone who supposedly existed and if the Bible is true (which of course we can’t be certain either) made a huge impact during his time—an impact so lasting that it trickled down to 2000 years later, forming not one but several movements we call religion that have changed (and I daresay “saved”) the lives of millions around the world. The character the Bible created showed the perfect example for what it means to LOVE which every goodhearted imperfect person will live his life to imitate, making the world a better place. – that’s what I appreciate about Jesus. As for his divinity, honestly, it really isn’t important to me.

The truth is, even if I appreciate what he’s done, it doesn’t mean I have faith. I still don’t get it. If I did, I would share the faith of the faithful – that Jesus is a living force – a father, a friend, brother, lover, etc. What drives the Born Again Church is not the doctrines – they come together to celebrate the personal relationships they have with Jesus as their God. It’s all about the personal relationship. I haven’t fully defined that relationship in my life yet. Maybe because I haven’t reached any craters in my life where I lose the will to live. Maybe I never felt I needed a relationship with God. Whatever the reason, it’s why I still don’t pray on a regular basis.

And so I remain afloat… believing in Love and the goodness of people… believing that I am here for a reason… born with more blessings than I can handle, to which the only person I can thank for that is something or someone I like to call God. As for a proper name for him, be it Jesus or Buddha or Brahma or whatever, I am still open to suggestions. But I will continue to strive to be a good person, to use my talents and skills to make the world a better place, to live simply and to acknowledge the intrinsic good in all that is living.

THAT is what makes me happy. And after that last sentence I can just scrape out the novel I just wrote and say: “WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY”.

I STOP NOW.