With nothing to do with ourselves on a Monday evening, my insane boyfriend and I headed to Lay Bare Waxing Salon to get our very first Brazilians.
Sure, I've had my legs and armpits waxed before, so I have a relatively good idea of how much it hurts. But then I think every person has to go through a Brazilian at least once in their lives, and it was our time to do it.
Nervous? More than ever
Determined? YES!!
It would've helped if the ladies in the salon would've eased our discomfort by a few words of encouragement.. something like, "Don't worry, it won't hurt as much as you think" or "We have a special way to make it NOT hurt" or whatever will get my blood pressure down. But I guess they were just so used to doing it everyday that they didn't care if the customer was a waxing virgin or a masochistic regular. They probably have the worst job one could possibly have too, so I don't blame them for not giving a shit about me.
I've never been to a gynecologist, and so it was my first time to expose my most sacred parts to a total stranger. Just to make it clear, a bikini wax aka "Charlie Chaplain" is just the sides. A BRAZILIAN, is every single strand down there, yes, all the way around the ass.
Anyway I guess it's just a matter of getting past the initial discomfort and letting it happen. It gets even more unnerving when she tells you to turn on your belly so she can do around your friggin asshole. I asked her (in tagalog of course) if a customer's ever farted while she was doing this, she laughed and said "hindi pa naman". Hey, at least I made her laugh.
I, on the other hand, was laughing and on the verge of tears throughout the whole process. Of course it hurts. It hurts like a m*therf*cker, especially as she goes nearer to your most sensitive part that I need not name. There's a reason you have the option to go "Charlie Chaplain", and a very good reason indeed. I don't know if I could do it again.
WHY IN THE WORLD DID GOD GIVE US PUBIC HAIR IN THE FIRST PLACE?!! -- was all that was screaming in my head.
Well anyway, I finished it, and now it's a whole new world to me. Feels much cleaner, looks almost childlike (note: ALMOST), and its silky smooth.
I can't even begin to imagine what it must feel like for a guy!!
Good luck to me when the hair begins to grow!
Updating my life's TO-DO list:
BRAZILIAN WAX, check!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Honing the People Skills
"Masyado kang mataas." (You're too high)
I finally sat down with my superior to discuss all the underlying issues concerning my performance (or lack thereof) in the company and our working relationship-- a heart-to-heart discussion I've been waiting for since I started working on my own, not knowing what the hell to do half the time.
So it turns out she wasn't clear as to what my role was, and neither was I. I was to report to her and to our President, but would end up talking to the President only since he was the one who consistently asked for updates. Apparently she was also waiting for me to come to her... we were waiting for each other.
She also didn't know how to handle me. She rules the office with an iron fist, telling everyone else what to do, scolding for mistakes, etc. But she never talked to me, never asked me what I was working on, where I was going, nada. She was under the impression that I felt I need not report to her since I could go straight to the big boss. She, and the rest of the office, were intimidated by me.
If in the US they worry about discrimination based on race or gender, here in the Philippines its all about the socio-economic heiarchy. The cancer of our society lies between the relationship between those more "well-off" and those who "have less options available to them". (Note the political correctness). It may also be between the english speakers and the tagalogs or the bisaya. Or maybe its between Ateneo and Lasalle vs the rest of the collegiate world. Whatever the main barrier is, it has to do with money and the culture differences brought about the availability (or shortage) of it.
I have always considered myself a middle-class citizen. To be more technical about it, maybe upper middle class. I don't live in a private subdivision, we own 2 cars, and I can't afford anything at Zara (or I choose not to purchase anything expensive.) I've always been in the frugal side when it comes to consumer choices.
So I had English as my first language. My parents also managed to enroll me in the better private schools, where I met most of my friends who belonged to the upper layers of the social pyramid. I stuck to english-speakers simply because I could communicate better. But when it comes to money issues, they know I'm just a cheap ass who'd rather eat in the food court than one of the restaurants upstairs. And I always viewed myself as someone who was more versatile when it came to people.
And so I was taken aback by my boss' comment, somewhat offended and amused at the same time. For the 11 months I've been in the company, I could not relate to anyone-- the english speaking upper management seemed too cool and consumeristic to have a real conversation, and the rest of the office, well, just didn't talk to me... for whatever reason.
And so I made the effort to break the ice by joining some of the staff in an after-work inuman in Edsa Central. Of course they were shocked to see "Ms. Mika" there with them, and I honestly had no idea how to place myself there. It's not that I considered myself higher than them at all. Heck, I was younger than ALL of them. I just had no idea to relay the message that I could hang out with them just like anyone else, without appearing too trying-hard nor condescending. As much as I stand for equality among anything else, I had no idea how to establish that with them. I was friggin out of place.. like I was back in high school.
The only reason I'm writing about this is because I haven't been placed out of my comfort zone in a while, and this is definitely one of those fortunate learning moments. Sure I had and still have nothing to talk about with them, but hopefully the mere fact that I sat down and shared a beer with them (even if I don't drink beer) is a good enough first step to melt the unnecessary ice.
Maybe next time I can bring out my corny jokes.
I finally sat down with my superior to discuss all the underlying issues concerning my performance (or lack thereof) in the company and our working relationship-- a heart-to-heart discussion I've been waiting for since I started working on my own, not knowing what the hell to do half the time.
So it turns out she wasn't clear as to what my role was, and neither was I. I was to report to her and to our President, but would end up talking to the President only since he was the one who consistently asked for updates. Apparently she was also waiting for me to come to her... we were waiting for each other.
She also didn't know how to handle me. She rules the office with an iron fist, telling everyone else what to do, scolding for mistakes, etc. But she never talked to me, never asked me what I was working on, where I was going, nada. She was under the impression that I felt I need not report to her since I could go straight to the big boss. She, and the rest of the office, were intimidated by me.
If in the US they worry about discrimination based on race or gender, here in the Philippines its all about the socio-economic heiarchy. The cancer of our society lies between the relationship between those more "well-off" and those who "have less options available to them". (Note the political correctness). It may also be between the english speakers and the tagalogs or the bisaya. Or maybe its between Ateneo and Lasalle vs the rest of the collegiate world. Whatever the main barrier is, it has to do with money and the culture differences brought about the availability (or shortage) of it.
I have always considered myself a middle-class citizen. To be more technical about it, maybe upper middle class. I don't live in a private subdivision, we own 2 cars, and I can't afford anything at Zara (or I choose not to purchase anything expensive.) I've always been in the frugal side when it comes to consumer choices.
So I had English as my first language. My parents also managed to enroll me in the better private schools, where I met most of my friends who belonged to the upper layers of the social pyramid. I stuck to english-speakers simply because I could communicate better. But when it comes to money issues, they know I'm just a cheap ass who'd rather eat in the food court than one of the restaurants upstairs. And I always viewed myself as someone who was more versatile when it came to people.
And so I was taken aback by my boss' comment, somewhat offended and amused at the same time. For the 11 months I've been in the company, I could not relate to anyone-- the english speaking upper management seemed too cool and consumeristic to have a real conversation, and the rest of the office, well, just didn't talk to me... for whatever reason.
And so I made the effort to break the ice by joining some of the staff in an after-work inuman in Edsa Central. Of course they were shocked to see "Ms. Mika" there with them, and I honestly had no idea how to place myself there. It's not that I considered myself higher than them at all. Heck, I was younger than ALL of them. I just had no idea to relay the message that I could hang out with them just like anyone else, without appearing too trying-hard nor condescending. As much as I stand for equality among anything else, I had no idea how to establish that with them. I was friggin out of place.. like I was back in high school.
The only reason I'm writing about this is because I haven't been placed out of my comfort zone in a while, and this is definitely one of those fortunate learning moments. Sure I had and still have nothing to talk about with them, but hopefully the mere fact that I sat down and shared a beer with them (even if I don't drink beer) is a good enough first step to melt the unnecessary ice.
Maybe next time I can bring out my corny jokes.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Back from the Islands
DISCLAIMER: This blog entry is written for myself, for personal documentation purposes only. You're not expected to relate, whoever you are.
Nine days in the remote island of Siargao well spent.. 9 days of supposed work, surf, explorations, parties, and personal encounters. I went there for the 2008 Billabong Cloud9 Invitational, thanks to the very fortunate coincidence that the company I work for sponsored it. However, I was able to extend my stay for more than the 7-day competition window, as I personally wanted to see more of the island, as well as spend time with friends there.
I'm only writing now to document quite an interesting trip it was for me personally. At that very moment I left for Siargao, there were several things I wanted to accomplish:
Nine days in the remote island of Siargao well spent.. 9 days of supposed work, surf, explorations, parties, and personal encounters. I went there for the 2008 Billabong Cloud9 Invitational, thanks to the very fortunate coincidence that the company I work for sponsored it. However, I was able to extend my stay for more than the 7-day competition window, as I personally wanted to see more of the island, as well as spend time with friends there.
I'm only writing now to document quite an interesting trip it was for me personally. At that very moment I left for Siargao, there were several things I wanted to accomplish:
- for myself: surf with my new longboard for the first time (and get better at surfing)
- for job 1: help out with whatever work has to be done, although minimal
- for job 2: see and experience enough to accomplish a good travel article about the island
- for myself: overcome or maybe accomplish that sense of independence despite being in a relationship
- for him: spend time with him in his home turf.
With all of this in mind, the event ongoing, plus everyone who was there, including the very boyfriend I was trying to somewhat detach from, I ended up mixing around my 3 functions there, which resulted in a whirlwind of emotions bottled up inside me. I wanted to prove to my boss that I was useful and worth sending to the island, I wanted to experience the island without his help, I wanted to surf.
The trip had its major highs which involved either a good surf session or a pristine swim with stingless jellyfish, as well as major lows involving me breaking down at midnight and walking along the pitchblack road pissed off at myself for not being able to withstand certain sleeping conditions.
A big part of me forgot that I was there for the competition itself, because it meant sacrificing certain hours that could have been spent surfing or traveling around. It all came down on me when I missed the finals of the competition--possibly the most exciting finals EVER, as our very own local team rider won. I cried my heart out for missing it, and I guess this is me trying to figure out why I reacted so extremely.
Normally a trip to a place like this would mean consistently happy days, as you are always discovering, relaxing and having fun. Guess its different when other things are involved such as work.
Lesson learned: PMS is a bitch.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Magis my Ass.
This morning I dropped my sister to school. Its been months since I last entered the premises of my alma mater, and apart from some new buildings and cobblestone roads, NOTHING'S changed.
As I was on my way driving out, there was a Pajero in front of me, with an arm that sticks out of the right side and flicks a used cigarette onto the dry grass.
I drive ahead of it, and wasn't surprised to see 2 male students sitting in the front seats in shades with their windows down.
Anger, frustration, but mostly disappointment entered my head.
First of all, YOU SHOULDN'T BE SMOKING. It's a non-smoking campus. Thats what those "smocket gardens" are for goddamit.
Secondly, DON'T THROW YOUR BUTT ON DRY GRASS!! It's not just littering, it's DANGEROUS!! That's how forest fires are started you idiot.
Thirdly, (and this is for ADMU), whatever it is you're trying to teach your 1st-rate-educated-elite is NOT working. They are still as ignorant as ever.
Gaaaaaahhhhhhh.
As I was on my way driving out, there was a Pajero in front of me, with an arm that sticks out of the right side and flicks a used cigarette onto the dry grass.
I drive ahead of it, and wasn't surprised to see 2 male students sitting in the front seats in shades with their windows down.
Anger, frustration, but mostly disappointment entered my head.
First of all, YOU SHOULDN'T BE SMOKING. It's a non-smoking campus. Thats what those "smocket gardens" are for goddamit.
Secondly, DON'T THROW YOUR BUTT ON DRY GRASS!! It's not just littering, it's DANGEROUS!! That's how forest fires are started you idiot.
Thirdly, (and this is for ADMU), whatever it is you're trying to teach your 1st-rate-educated-elite is NOT working. They are still as ignorant as ever.
Gaaaaaahhhhhhh.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Restlessly Happy
Jone Johnson Lewis:
The human condition is that we are individuals in relationship, and there are tensions between individuality and relatedness. A humanist spirituality is not one of complete dependence, nor of complete independence -- neither condition can be defended as primary. Rather, a humanist spirituality is one of interdependence.
How are you?
My consistent answer: "Restlessly happy"
Over the last 6 months, I've been in love with the Traveler. I mentioned him once and I'll update this blog today. This will explain why I've been missing from the online blog world for quite some time (despite my overly updated Facebook profile). Ironically, my recent entries were all celebrating my single life and how I told myself I'd stick to it for as long as I can. God really has a peculiar way of acting. He throws things at you before you even know you want it, before you even think you NEED it. I didn't want a relationship, yet I meet someone that seems to be everything I've ever dreamed of in a person. The romantic in me gave way. This one doesn't come around very often.
It's the first time I'm with someone with Marriage as the end in mind. It's no longer the temporary just-for-now-while-its-convenient-for-both-of-us kind of thing. I hate that I've said this before, but this really is different, and for the first time ever, I can say this one will be hard to lose. I'm in this because I could be severely hurt, because he could be my first heartbreak... and of course, because we really do get along overwhelmingly well.
Here are a few of the many positive changes that have occured in the last 6 months. These are reasons I've been HAPPY lately, with myself and with him:
On the other hand, just like in economics, there are tradeoffs to everything. In exchange for my blossoming love life, I've also been RESTLESS for several reasons
Whatever happened to my dreams of becoming a Marine Biologist? New idea: Take up Engineering and develop sustainable designs (inspired by 11th Hour). The treehugger in me has been poking me at the back of my head and I don't know what to do about it.
The human condition is that we are individuals in relationship, and there are tensions between individuality and relatedness. A humanist spirituality is not one of complete dependence, nor of complete independence -- neither condition can be defended as primary. Rather, a humanist spirituality is one of interdependence.
How are you?
My consistent answer: "Restlessly happy"
Over the last 6 months, I've been in love with the Traveler. I mentioned him once and I'll update this blog today. This will explain why I've been missing from the online blog world for quite some time (despite my overly updated Facebook profile). Ironically, my recent entries were all celebrating my single life and how I told myself I'd stick to it for as long as I can. God really has a peculiar way of acting. He throws things at you before you even know you want it, before you even think you NEED it. I didn't want a relationship, yet I meet someone that seems to be everything I've ever dreamed of in a person. The romantic in me gave way. This one doesn't come around very often.
It's the first time I'm with someone with Marriage as the end in mind. It's no longer the temporary just-for-now-while-its-convenient-for-bo
Here are a few of the many positive changes that have occured in the last 6 months. These are reasons I've been HAPPY lately, with myself and with him:
- Traveling out of town every chance we get.. Siargao, Camiguin, Baguio, La Union, Pinatubo, etc
- Friend network expansion, especially in the surf community
- Skateboarding - now one of my favorite pastimes.
- New ideas, new books, new movies
- I bought a surfboard -- my first 5 digit expense for myself
- I still get to wear slippers to work
- The security and comfort you get from loving and being loved
On the other hand, just like in economics, there are tradeoffs to everything. In exchange for my blossoming love life, I've also been RESTLESS for several reasons
- I've been away from my online blog semi-life for months.. only updating my handwritten journal when I rarely find time. (Haven't decided what this implies though)
- I haven't finished any of the books I started,
- I seen my family and Cucumberd friends less
- Much less external opportunities to find new hobbies
- Less drive to find a job abroad... (I still want to do it, but I'll admit less than before)
- Still lost career-wise, earning just enough to live day by day with very little savings.
- I still don't think I'm doing my job well at all...
Whatever happened to my dreams of becoming a Marine Biologist? New idea: Take up Engineering and develop sustainable designs (inspired by 11th Hour). The treehugger in me has been poking me at the back of my head and I don't know what to do about it.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
The Stranger
Dedicated to The Stranger
I step out of the comfort of my home and there you are.
I do not know you, you do not care to know me.
You knock on my window, forcing the heavy cloud of guilt through my veins.
You are feared, because you are unknown.
I grew up in a home where you were not acknowledged.
You are not my responsibility, as I am not your burden to bear.
My concern is my destination, my next task on my personal agenda.
And yet you always seem to show yourself, no matter where I go.
The truth is, I do acknowledge your presence.
You exist to me as another human being, with a mind, body and soul.
I see the mind behind the pitiful gaze, and I honestly wonder what you are thinking as you ask me for help.
Can you blame me for not giving anything?
Do you hate me for not giving?
Do you expect me to help you?
The scarier part of this all is that i think its not just me.
EVERYONE knows that you exist.
Sadly, everyone denies it.
They choose not to be burdened, not to feel bad for the life they live.
Other people can do it so easily, to go on their pursuit for happiness, the way they think they'll find it.
They can do it without your presence to pull them down.
I admire their strength, for I cannot do that.
I cannot sit comfortably in my car while your child is freezing in the rain.
I cannot enjoy a P200 meal when I know it's enough to feed your entire family.
And it makes it difficult for me to live like this.
Especially when I don't know what to do about it.
When there's nothing I can do about it.
This is me being totally honest, and totally alone.
I step out of the comfort of my home and there you are.
I do not know you, you do not care to know me.
You knock on my window, forcing the heavy cloud of guilt through my veins.
You are feared, because you are unknown.
I grew up in a home where you were not acknowledged.
You are not my responsibility, as I am not your burden to bear.
My concern is my destination, my next task on my personal agenda.
And yet you always seem to show yourself, no matter where I go.
The truth is, I do acknowledge your presence.
You exist to me as another human being, with a mind, body and soul.
I see the mind behind the pitiful gaze, and I honestly wonder what you are thinking as you ask me for help.
Can you blame me for not giving anything?
Do you hate me for not giving?
Do you expect me to help you?
The scarier part of this all is that i think its not just me.
EVERYONE knows that you exist.
Sadly, everyone denies it.
They choose not to be burdened, not to feel bad for the life they live.
Other people can do it so easily, to go on their pursuit for happiness, the way they think they'll find it.
They can do it without your presence to pull them down.
I admire their strength, for I cannot do that.
I cannot sit comfortably in my car while your child is freezing in the rain.
I cannot enjoy a P200 meal when I know it's enough to feed your entire family.
And it makes it difficult for me to live like this.
Especially when I don't know what to do about it.
When there's nothing I can do about it.
This is me being totally honest, and totally alone.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Reliving Childhood
One of the things I like most about my job right now is the industry I'm in. I love that my work is people's play. We sell apparel and gear for wakeboarding, skating, or surfing -- which are things a majority of adults would only do to "get away" or "try something extreme" or "relive childhood". But to myself, and the select few out there, it's more than just something you do on a whim-- it's a LIFESTYLE-- and my lifestyle has definitely changed thanks to the circumstances my job has offered me.
Thanks to the things and people I've been exposed to, I now spend some of my weeknights carving along the streets of High Street or Forbes or Dasma on a longboard skateboard. I have 3 new blatantly visible scars on my arms and knees which resulted from my idiotic attempts to go down the big hills without any protection (not to mention lack of experience).
I remember spending my summer afternoons outside the house-- the lone little girl with glasses rollerblading with the boys, also attempting to jump over chairs, little bikes, going down stairs and what not. I would do 360s, 180s, etc. I was even convinced I could've made it to the X-games if I never stopped. (I was a cocky little girl)
After all my near-death incidents from longboarding, I decided to do the next "smart" thing--
While all the itching surfers are getting their stoke fix from their Sector9's, I decided to go down those big hills on a pair of inline skates, just like I used to when I was 9 years old. Even though I'm probably the only female skater my age within a 10mile radius, at least I'm more comfortable with what I'm doing, and its back to rediscovering my old tricks. And it's a great way to burn those damn Krispy Kreme donuts in my growing tummy.
I told my mom I bought myself a pair of roller blades and she just said,
"Are you trying to be a kid again?!"
Hey, since when is that a bad thing?
And this is my goal for the coming months:
INSPIRATION!!!
Thanks to the things and people I've been exposed to, I now spend some of my weeknights carving along the streets of High Street or Forbes or Dasma on a longboard skateboard. I have 3 new blatantly visible scars on my arms and knees which resulted from my idiotic attempts to go down the big hills without any protection (not to mention lack of experience).
I remember spending my summer afternoons outside the house-- the lone little girl with glasses rollerblading with the boys, also attempting to jump over chairs, little bikes, going down stairs and what not. I would do 360s, 180s, etc. I was even convinced I could've made it to the X-games if I never stopped. (I was a cocky little girl)
After all my near-death incidents from longboarding, I decided to do the next "smart" thing--
While all the itching surfers are getting their stoke fix from their Sector9's, I decided to go down those big hills on a pair of inline skates, just like I used to when I was 9 years old. Even though I'm probably the only female skater my age within a 10mile radius, at least I'm more comfortable with what I'm doing, and its back to rediscovering my old tricks. And it's a great way to burn those damn Krispy Kreme donuts in my growing tummy.
I told my mom I bought myself a pair of roller blades and she just said,
"Are you trying to be a kid again?!"
Hey, since when is that a bad thing?
And this is my goal for the coming months:
INSPIRATION!!!
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