Ego Tripping

When you mention my name to someone I know, automatically someone thinks "sporty girl". I grew up being the tomboyish one-of-the-boys types, and as I grew older, despite the many hobbies and interests I went through, I still end up going back to my love for sports and physical outdoor activities as my "thing". Everyone has his/her own "thing", mine was always sports.

From ballet I switched to gymnastics. Then softball, badminton, volleyball, swimming, track&field. Then there are the alternative sports -- biking, rollerblading, skateboarding, wakeboarding, surfing. Recently I took up salsa dancing and now pole dancing. I usually learn faster than average, and I've had my share of achievements.

And so I came to ponder on why I love sports so much.

Do I love sports because I'm good at them, or am I good at sports because I love them?

What makes us love what we do? Of course being good at it helps. I could excel at things that I didn't necessary like. Running for example, I didn't enjoy so much, but I could do well. And so the thought that I did sports to boost my ego just scared me. It shouldn't be the reason, and I won't accept that I even need to boost my ego. I guess the years of being idle after college makes you crave that recognition that was once stuffed down your throat. It's just ironic, but I guess it's human nature to want that sense of worth.

But I do love sports, win or lose. I love moving. I love sweating and feeling tired. I love being challenged, and struggling through a challenge. I enjoy flipping. I like speed. I like the thought of almost dying. I'm a self-proclaimed adrenaline junkie.


Thank God. I feel better already.