Things of Value, Love included

A friend of mine centered his blog on the things we value in our lives. Each person has his own standards for what is valuable, and that determines not just his purchasing choices, but his life choices as well. Recently I got to thinking about this in relation to myself.

I always knew I was a stingy person. I don't spend much on clothes, magazines, or expensive food. I hate paying for parking, and you'll rarely find me at the mall on a leisure day. I never aimed to be rich, and I want to live a nice consumerist-free life in the province one day.

At first I thought it was because I hated money. But now that I think about it, I realized I value money VERY much, which is why I choose my investments carefully. I usually spend my money on my trips out of town, because that is what I love. The things that make me happy are what I value (just like everyone else), but luckily for me, they aren't that expensive. I try to find my happiness from things that wont cost me too much monetarily.

And then I started thinking about my relationship choices. (Brace yourself for an emotional entry.) I've had 3 relationships since I was 18 years old, and I was the one who ended all of them. Why? To answer it as simply as possible, he just wasn't the one. I deeply cared for every single one of them, yet I ended it because there was always something missing. (The problem when you have the traveler's personality is that you can't commit to anything because you know there's always something else out there waiting to be discovered. I'll save that for another blog.) Although I said "I love you" to these guys, I ended it for one reason or another. Maybe it wasn't love in the first place. It all depends on your personal definition, whatever it is. I can't be with anyone for more than a year because I have a list of musthaves and qualities needed. Call them high standards, fine.

Going back to things of value... who you decide to give your heart to is one of the most important investments you'll ever have to make in this lifetime. Can you blame me for being choosy? Before investing in a business, you'd have to make sure of certain things: the people running the business, the background of the company, and most importantly, the POTENTIAL for profit. You can't just choose any business and say "I've decided to invest in you, no matter who you are and what could happen." Unless you're some billionaire who can extract money from his ass.

I know love is a decision and a commitment, but I still have yet to find the right person who I can like, and trust enough to give myself to. Hey, it's all about the search right?

In other words, if you're so frustrated that you can't find the man of your dreams, it simply means you value yourself a lot. And don't ever give yourself up for anyone less than what you think you deserve.

Done.

MY Year of Yes

A few months ago, I read The Year of Yes by Maria Headley, which is a light comedic book about the author's escapades as she decides to say Yes to EVERY person that asks her out for a whole year. She gives in to an open mind and in the process, comes across some of the strangest and most interesting people, and also finds the man she marries in the end. And it's all based on a true story.

I never realized how much I was influenced by this shallow read, until I decided to sit down and list the people I've met over the past 6 months that I've been single. Needless to say, I consider them friends now, and as long as they're fine with just being friends, then I'm fine with them. To mention a few:

• The Lost Taken Guy. This guy was endorsed to me by his EX. He took me to an old bar with his older cousin/tito (which was fine, really). As if that wasn't weird enough, he had a girlfriend--which was fine by me (Thank God!!) So I was totally ok with everything, until he got a little too drunk and let me drive his car to bring myself home. And then he lingered while dropping me off, expecting me to invite him into my GRANDMOTHER's house. What for? I dont even want to know. No thank you.
  
• The Old Aussie executive from ADB. Old enough to be my father. Would not stop calling me at the office to invite me for lunch. Had lunch once to see what he wanted. It was a normal date, save for the fact that he was probably more than twice my age. Never returned his phone calls after that. It just felt wrong.
• The Politician/Party Boy. Belonged to the upper society group. Took me to fancy restos where we wore slippers cuz apparently he's a down-to-earth guy. Ex's included super celebrities and models. Nice guy, but I didn't want to be a "breath of fresh air" for this one. I didn't belong in his world.
  
• The Health Buff. Had a healthy dinner in a Japanese Restaurant. Eats wood for breakfast, counts the number of calories per gram per item of food he ate. Soccer and Fitness. Sorry no can do.
• The Celebrity. Knock Knock. (ME: Who's there?) Celebrity: Bok. (Bok who?) Bok bok. I'm a chicken! Hhahahaa!! Self-explanatory.
  
• The DJ. The best thing about hanging out with a radio DJ? They do all the talking. And they're pleasant to listen to. But I can't be romantically involved with anyone who speaks hiphop. Friends lang please :p
  
• Frenchie. Its the first time a foreigner MY age took interest in me. And I love engaging with foreigners. While I was nice enough to take him around the town and show him the beauty of my country like I always do, he was busy searching for the best way to stick his french tongue down my throat. It's just not how we do it in this country. Friends.

And then there were a few who turned out to be VERY interesting:

• Mr. CEO. Career-driven, a painter/writer/musician, athlete, reader, and family guy. He's too busy of course for anything else, which is a good thing. I enjoy his company simply because its always pure intellectual conversation without expecting anything from each other.
• The Traveler. Been all over the place. Also wants to settle down in the province one day. Self-sufficient and intelligent. Loves art and music. Doesn't carry a credit card. Basically fits the exact profile of my ideal person. And we're friends.
  

The last two people are still around, and I always enjoy their company. The best part about it is that we're all just friends and I don't have to worry about anything else. At this point in my life, the last thing I want is another relationship that starts off passionately romantic and then ends when I realize there's still more out there. Right now it's NOT about dating, but rather meeting all kinds of people. I'm all for network expansion now, and it's been quite an interesting year.

As for the one person I'm meant to be with, I'm letting time and chance determine everything by now. One day he will be more than a stereotype, more than a personality, more than a mere profile. Only time can turn him into a real person, and that's precisely what I'm counting on... whoever he might be.

COMPANIONSHIP

finding someone who is just as LOST as you are in this world of infinite uncertainty
someone who's on the same dot on the map
heading in the same direction
searching for nothing but finding EVERYTHING along the way
looking forward not to the destination, if any, but the PURSUIT.

your fellow wanderer, your partner in life.
- Mika Santos, June 2005