Water Sentiments

It's a daily struggle to live in a world of people. It adds a totally different factor to the things you get into. I try surfing for instance, and yet am intimidated by the people already into the sport... then there's that pressure of fitting in with the "community", even if you totally suck and you try your best not to be another poser. And then you shove it off and remind yourself that you don't care what people think, and you get into the water and paddle your way to the lineup thinking you're gonna surf because you want to have fun in the ocean and you wanna get better at it. And then you get to the line up and everyone is there with pretty much the same reasons and you're all fighting for the chance to have that magical ride and you end up not riding at all because you don't want to get in the way of anyone better than you. And so you end up paddling back to a friendlier spot where the waves are smaller and people are struggling just as much as you. You catch an easy wave or 2, feel the stoke, feel proud of yourself as you paddle back to wait for another one. You smile once in a while at the stranger next to you, then you catch another wave. Before you know it, 4 hours has passed and your skin is nice and toasted. As you catch another wave and lose count, you feel you've earned your spot in the line up, and then you stop worrying, you stop caring what they think.

I don't know about you, but this is how I feel in a crowd. Perhaps I'm too hard on myself. I probably have it all wrong, but I say it out loud anyway.

I wanna surf again... in an empty line up... with just me and the water... no other factors.